Consequences

We all know what consequences are, they are:
1: a conclusion derived through logic : inference
2: something produced by a cause or necessarily following from a set of conditions
3 a : importance with respect to power to produce an effect
b : social importance
4: the appearance of importance.

And I don’t know of anyone, especially in today’s society, who likes facing the consequences of the things they have done. Normally, we don’t even think about the consequences of what we are doing until they come back and bite us in our rear ends. That’s when we could kick our own rear ends for not thinking about what consequences we would face before we acted.

I’ve found myself in the “not thinking before I act” consequence much too often and yet I seem to continue to be a slow learner! You would think one of these days I would learn. I am doing much better the older I get and now find myself trying to tell my grown children to think before they regret their actions.

My mind has been full and gloomy since this past Wednesday afternoon when I got the news that my cousin, who I consider to be my older sister, is now facing some life altering and devastating consequences of her own.  Some of what is hitting her right now are from decisions she made herself, and some are from decisions made by other people that are effecting her.

I have been where she is now and it is no fun knowing you’re facing loosing your home and there is nothing you can do about it.  My situation was different than hers in that I lost my mother’s home through foreclosure.  We made several bad financial decisions that all resulted in the loss of our house and land.  That was a consequence I didn’t think I was going to live through, but with God’s amazing grace and the support and love of my children and my husband as well as my mother, we’ve all made it through that devastating time in our lives.  I am fervently praying for my cousin because she doesn’t have the support of her only child, nor the majority of her family that lives there close.  In fact, her only child is the main reason she is facing this loss.  And the rest of her family has sided against her because of their jealousy that she was the main recipient of their Father and Mother’s home and land upon their deaths.

This family has always had their problems with those who always thought that “she has more than me” or “he doesn’t deserve that, he hasn’t done anything for them” or “that should be mine, I’m the one that….” or “I’m their child too, so why didn’t *I* get so and so” and I’m sure there are thousands of other phrases that would fit.  My precious Aunt has told my mother, her sister, for years how all of this in-fighting hurt her and sure didn’t help her marriage but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop it.  And now that she and my Uncle are gone, I know they are both looking down and so upset that their youngest child, the one they did their best to take care of and provide for, for her whole life, is having to endure all of this.  There were promises made to these two people by this daughter that she would take care of their place until the day she died and when she made those promises I’m positive she had no idea that those words would mean what she says they mean today, that before she leaves her Moma and Daddy’s house for it to be sold they will have to carry her body out.  She has vowed she will die in the same bedroom where both of them died.  And the fact that she means what she says doesn’t seem to bother the siblings that are causing all of this right now in the least.

Now before any of you start with the “well she started it”, let me assure you I’ve heard what happened with the two instances that began all of this latest drama.  The day cleaning the beach house could have been avoided and the night spent in jail could have been avoided.  Like I said in the opening of this article, life’s choices have consequences.  And I’m almost positive that the sister who’s losing her Moma and Daddy’s home has regretted the decision she made to change the original will, no matter what promises were made that fateful day!  Loosing the property because her son was going to sell it to get what he thought was owed to him then, or being forced to sell it to give what this sister thinks is owed to her, there is no difference.  She’s loosing her home and the home she promised ya’ll’s parents that she would take care of.  She says she has tried repeatedly to tell you that she does not think of this property as hers, in her mind, this is still her Moma and Daddy’s place, no matter what a land deed says.

Most people would be devastated to know they have caused one of their family members so much distress but that doesn’t seem to be the case with this family conflict.  The only thing that matters, or so it seems, to these siblings is that if they can’t have it then neither can she.  And that’s what this all boils down to, their parents didn’t chose to sell their property and divide up the money between their 5 children, four biological and one adopted grand daughter because her mother couldn’t taking care of her.

All I’ve been able to do this morning is pray and cry for this woman.  I love her as much as I do my own brother and sister and it’s breaking my heart to even think that she may be dead within one or two months because she didn’t have the money and couldn’t come up with the money to buy out the sister who’s decided she wants all of the money she’s voluntarily put into their Moma and Daddy’s home place.  As in the Bible when the two women claimed that the baby was hers and not the other woman’s King Solomon ordered the baby to be cut in half and each half given to each woman, so the real mother spoke up and said, “No don’t kill my baby give him to her if it will save his life”, this property will be sold and divided between these sisters.

One thing I haven’t mentioned so far, is that this 12 acres of property also contains a small family cemetery where the parents of these women are buried.  That corner of the property will also be sold!  My question to this sister demanding her money is, what happens when the new property owners decide they don’t like having a cemetery on their property and get a court order for the bodies to be exhumed and moved to a church cemetery somewhere?  Are YOU then gonna step up and pay to have your parents bodies moved from the land they wanted to be buried on and moved to…..where?  Or have you even thought that far ahead?  I kinda doubt it.  If you had, you wouldn’t be forcing the sale of the land your Daddy chose to live out the rest of his days on so he could have a little peace and serenity instead of the fighting and fussing he’d had for the majority of his days here on this Earth.

Half of those 12 acres are yours to do with as you see fit so you could have easily picked where you wanted you a house and either put you a trailer on it or built you a house or put up a tent, a shed, or whatever you wanted to do.  There are many, many options other than selling your Moma and Daddy’s place.  You should be ashamed to know that yet again you are causing more conflict and chaos in your family.
It saddens me and my Moma, your Moma’s sister, to no end to know that ya’ll have once again chosen fighting and chaos instead of reconciliation and peace while you too are living in the later years of your life.  And it doesn’t bother you in the least to know that you are acting just like our Mothers half sister, you remember her, the one you despise more than the devil himself?

I know it doesn’t mean anything to you for us to be saying that we are praying for you because you’ve already made the statement that you’ve done so much in your life that God won’t forgive you for, so you know you are going to hell.  Well, I know that God does, can, and will forgive you but only if you chose to ask Him.  No one else can make that decision for you and I pray with all my heart that He will touch your heart and mind in such a way that there is no way you can deny that it was in fact God that has touched you.  No matter how low you go God can find you and reach you and He’s always there waiting for us to come to Him with a humble spirit and a repentant heart and He will pick us up and clean us off.  I pray you will come to this knowledge and realization before it’s too late.  And I’m praying for the rest of the family too.  Living a life of always believing that you are the victim and you were always the one slighted is no way to live and neither is constantly causing chaos and strife.  Every one of you in this family know that the chaos and strife are the exact reasons that your parents chose to move away from the home where you all grew up to begin with and now that same chaos and strife may possibly uproot them in their final resting place, you should be totally and completely ashamed of yourselves.  May God forgive you for what you are doing.  His is the only opinion that matters in the end after all.